This morning I was listening to a Christian podcast. The subject was dating, and how the process of breaking up destroys confidence.
But then... isn't that one of the reasons some people date? To build confidence?
To have someone express interest in you. To enjoy the little quirks about you. The way you laugh, catch phrases you use... to have someone that appreciates you for who you are - not just what you can do for them To encourage you and build you up. And you in turn do the same for them.
But then if something happens, and you break up...
That whole world is shattered. Confidence that was built on shifting sands is destined to fall into despair and self-doubt. Confidence built in someone else's view of us is so dangerous, so finite. When our whole view of ourselves depends on what one individual thinks of us, what will we do when the day comes and we don't meet their expectations?
We begin to question our identity. All of the sudden, we aren't on top of the world anymore. Because we have lessened in their eyes, we are insecure in ourselves. We are no longer good enough. Our support has been pulled out from under us, and as we fall we frantically grip the air for something to stable us.
This post really isn't about dating. It's about who we place our trust in. How we see ourselves. Who we really are.
Have you ever wondered that? Who am I, really? What defines me and makes me myself? It's sobering, especially if you don't have a ready answer. When we change with every gust of wind, aiming to please everyone but pleasing no one, it is so easy to lose sight of our identity. Is that person in the mirror me, or is it the person I'm trying to be for others?
"On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand. All other ground is sinking sand."
The world is so confused. They have no fixed point of reference. No firm foundation. And when we lose sight of the rock on which we stand, venturing out into the ways of the world, we are soon caught in the same trap.
To really know who we are, we need to know who HE is. To have confidence in ourselves, we need to have confidence in Him. Without Him, we fall. With Him, we stand strong through every storm.
Once we understand what He has done for us, we begin to realize that our identity is not found in someone else's view of us, but in how GOD sees us. Our Maker is the only One who can truly define us. Not the mirror. Not our friends and family or even enemies. God and God alone. We are no longer dependent on sand to hold us up, but the everlasting firm rock of Christ's love for us! We are self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency (Phil 4:13, AMP).
So how DOES God see us? We all know this verse, but to rebuild our foundation we must go back to the basics.
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." - John 3:16
First of all, God loves us SOO much more than we can ever fathom. So much so that He gave His ONLY Son to die for us, so we could be with Him! How amazing and crazy and passionate is the Father's love for us!
Next, He made us with His tender love and mercies. Psalm 139 shows us that God knows all the details of our life. He has our whole life planned out, and He saw the dark valley we would be in, even before the foundation of the world. We are His, and He is ours. He sees all the people we have and will impact. We will never know until we get to Heaven just how many people we have blessed.
There are so many Scriptures that demonstrate His wonderful love for us. 1 Peter 2:24 says, "He personally carried our sins in His body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By His wounds, you have been healed." He died so we could live. Now that's love. To give up all your rights, and everything good that belonged to you so that the other person could have it. And He did all that for the least of us. And it's when we meditate on that - on JESUS - that we can truly look upon ourselves with pure eyes and see who we really are. Suddenly, we aren't looking for the next compliment, or person to fulfill us. Our relationship with God is more than enough and sustains us through our darkest hours. We focus more on Him and less on us. He must increase and we must decrease.
So if this post was for you... take His love to heart. Realize that even if the people who should be loving you look down on you instead, that the Father cherishes you, and loves you above and beyond what you could ever grasp or imagine. It's not just words. It's not just Violinist4Christ who's saying this. God says it over and over again in His Word. And He is longing for you to read His love letter to you, and to run to His embrace. Won't you taste and see that the Lord is good?
2 Corinthians 1:10
And he did rescue us from mortal danger, and he will rescue us again. We have placed our confidence in him, and he will continue to rescue us.
2 Corinthians 3:11-12 So if the old way, which has been replaced, was glorious, how much more glorious is the new, which remains forever! 12 Since this new way gives us such confidence, we can be very bold.
We rely on what Christ Jesus has done for us. We put no confidence in human effort.
1 Thessalonians 5:8
But let us who live in the light be clearheaded, protected by the armor of faith and love, and wearing as our helmet the confidence of our salvation.
Because of his grace he declared us righteous and gave us confidence that we will inherit eternal life.”
So God has given both his promise and his oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us.
So we can say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper,so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?”
*All Scripture taken from the NLT unless otherwise noted. Courtesy of Biblegateway.com